Showing posts with label longing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label longing. Show all posts

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Deep Within

I lay there wide awake..
Bathing in the pearly light of the moon..
Trying hard to bind myself in shackles..
And hold my heart in a cage..
But yet again today looking at the starlit sky..
Tears slowly stream down my face
As my heart whispers your name..


-Fatima

P.S: Blogging after really long time, feels good to write here again!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Seeking Solace


Seeking Solace

Pleasure and Ecstasy,
Love and Harmony,
Is all what I wish to seek..

Silence and agony, 
Pain and misery,
Is all what you give me..

But it's only in dreams,
In a world of my own,
Where you accept and don't reject..

-Fatima 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Fading


Sometimes you defy your own destiny,
Sometimes you alone are responsible for the woes in your life..
Sometimes you love so much that it becomes suffocation,
Sometimes your truth becomes your lie..
Sometimes you break friendships with your own hands..
Sometimes you be honest and the honesty backfires,
Sometimes you want to cry and not a tear falls..
Sometimes you stab and betray when all you wanted was not too..
Sometimes you know it was love but it comes across as something else...
Sometimes you  are only the cause of your shattered self,
Sometimes you deserve...deserve to be alone and isolated..
Coz sometimes you snatch your own hope and break the one you love...


-Fatima

Saturday, August 25, 2012

confessions of my heart: interlude 2

Earlier chapter in this series can be found here...
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 1
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 2
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 3
Confessions Of My Heart: Interlude 1

Confessions Of My Heart: Interlude 2



Dear Armaan,

It’s a cold rainy night with the weak looming ominously ahead.  The rustling of leaves and sweet murmur of the pouring rain are the only sounds that whisper to me. My mind is stirring with a million things yet it is blank and tears are relentlessly rolling down my cheeks.

I’m crying, I can’t help but cry as there is this void that has engulfed me. My heart aches still I try to be strong and it’s breaking me apart each day. I wait, wait for you to come back and hold me in your embrace, loving and caressing me like always. There are days when all I want is to bridge the gap and come running to you as the distance that separates us in not miles apart but hearts apart. But, I can’t do that, can I? When it’s you who’s tearing us apart.

Without you I’m a burned down flame,
Whose ray, no longer lights the way…

A soulless flower, A coast-less bay…
A deemed topaz, A dried sea…
A mirthless bird and a hazy memory…

Without you I’m there but I don’t seem to be,
Come back my love,
As each day now seems like eternity…

I don’t have it in me to say anything more as I’m nothing but an emotional mess. Though you say waiting is a waste of time and I’ll realize it someday yet I will be right here waiting for you. And I wish it were easy but it’s hard to stop loving and say goodbye.

Love,
Faya

P.S: The poem is written by me.



-Fatima 


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Sleepless Dreams



Like fallen petals of a dried red rose,
Hugging herself she bellows,
Reviving his aura and holding his essence,
She reminisces the times of his presence.

-Fatima



Thursday, May 31, 2012

confessions of my heart: interlude 1

This is an interlude to a story written long back! Confessions of My Heart. I've been meaning to conjure this up since a long time but finally got this together.

The story is a divided into three parts and can be found here, and somehow the interludes basically occur  after chap 2 as chap3 in the end of this series...complicated?? I hope not :)
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 1
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 2
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 3

Confessions Of My Heart: Interlude 1

I finally asked you to dance
On the last slow song
Beneath that moon that was really a disco ball
I can still feel my head on your shoulder
And hoping that song would never be over


The sun sank behind the hilltops and the dark veil gradually began settling at eventide. The fragrance of the wet soil from the rain shower earlier was wafting in the chilly air. He was sitting on his bed idly crooning the song playing on his music player. His fingers adeptly moved along the strings of his guitar and the freshly brewed coffee lay neglected on the nightstand. It was a rather quite night with nothing much to do and he let himself immerse in the memories of her.  

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself
Wondering where you are


It was long since he last saw her though he thought of her on daily basis. It was hard not to think of her, it was like breathing and not living. His mind wandered away and he let his heart dominate once again. He was never the one who fought inner battles but off lately the calm that reigned receded. On a quiet night, on a sunny day, at work or even when in the company of friends he felt empty and alone. He was missing her. So much that, even the beach he had taken a liking to at times like these didn’t sedate his nerves.

For me you'll always be eighteen
And beautiful and dancin' away with my heart

 In these four years of togetherness it was not that they didn’t talk ever, they did but only when he was overwhelmed and overcome by need. A need so primeval and strong that only she could soothe his burning soul. Addiction or love he chose not to name it, at the end a nameless relation was easier to elude with no explanation to offer. It might look absurd to a third person but when had they been an obvious couple. Their relation was unconventional just like them.

I brushed your curls back so I could see your eyes
And the way you moved me was like you were reading my mind
I can still feel you lean into kiss me
I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me

He sighed and drew a long breath, when he remembered their last phone conversation. At least at the moment it was.

“So, this is finally our last talk.” He said. “Is it really??” she asked regaining her composure, before continuing “I just can’t seem to believe it is.”
It was weird that they didn’t speak for a while and let the quaint silence linger a little longer, neither sure how to go about. It was then that he spoke in a neutral tone, “Trapped you finally, didn’t I? Never knew I could come up with something so brilliant.” She smiled, before replying “Yes, you trapped me but not today. The day I fell in love with you was the day I was truly trapped.” He didn’t respond to her for a while as his voice was choked with emotions. He sighed sadly as he spoke, “Good bye and take care.” And all she could muster up was a quiet, “See you, take care.”     

You headed off to college
At the end of that summer and we lost touch
I guess I didn't realize even at that moment we lost so much

Coming out of his reverie, he shook his head to clear his mind of dusty thoughts and forgotten times. This isn't the time for retrospection, he admonished himself. But he couldn’t help but wonder and spoke out loud;   
“What are you for me, Faya? Are you my friend or my girl? Is this new feeling that I have is what I'm supposed to feel for my closest friend, or for the woman I love?”

Sighing contentedly, he sips his now cold coffee as the song on the music player changes. 



Interlude 2 
-Fatima


lady antebellum - dancing away with my heart .mp3


Found at bee mp3 search engine
 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Passion Colours Everything !





Passion Colours Everything !

Could I gain thy love tonight?
Could I hold you tight?
And never let you outta my sight...
And walk down the aisle in white !

Waking up in the middle of the night,
I fear losing you even in my dreams,
Don't drift apart my love...
Or else I'll be lost in this eventide !

Tears stream down my cheek...
Mumbling inconceivable words...
I cling to you like a child,
Not letting you leave my sight...

You peck my cheeks,
You kiss my lips,
You hold me close,
And soothe my ruffled soul...

You feel my sorrow,
You feel my pain,
Even in your despair,
You cajole me and ease my fear...

Slowly the clock ticks by...
And the solemnity sweeps away,
Life now sounds melodious...
As love and joy gleam in my eyes !

-Fatima 

P.S: Wishing you a very happy and prosperous New Year Guys...Hope you have a fun filled and exciting year ahead...Take Care !

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Walk Beyond Oblivion....

 Walk Beyond Oblivion....

There are moments when somethings on my mind but I just can't rhyme,
So forgive me these few brief awkward lines,
 

You're the only one now left,
Who I don't really wanna lose,
Though I know I can be too childish at times,
Or my words too sarcastic to digest for you...
But I ain't the one with attitude who can't change,
It's just I'm needy and too hurt that I can't bear,
And all I want from you is just a bit of love and care...

Gifts and pleasures I don't long,
As your friendship has been my greatest treasure all along.


-Fatima
P.S: Dedicated to my Soul Searched Friend.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Random Musings #1

Random Musings #1

Well this is not some series or anything of a particular genre, this one will just contain things that are mere abstractions it could be just dissecting particular emotions or life in general. Another important thing is this is not about me the reason I mentioned this is, since I usually have a soft corner for melancholic writings people feel I'm sad and temme to cheer up that's not done :-/ so I thought of informing prior :D 

This particular post is inspired by this pic and written in first person...Hope you enjoy reading! Do give your valuable feedback :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Until Forever’s Gone…


It was nearing midnight and my mood was surprisingly languid, it was that particular moment when I didn’t feel like thinking or following the practicalities of life and society but to let my mind and heart reel freely. I sat there perching besides the window seating idly murmuring songs that seemed like some incoherent mumbling but it hardly mattered as I had none to please and just soothe myself.

 It was in moments like these when I wondered how it would feel to revel in you and bask in your love, to love and to be loved back by you! But tonight astonishingly a certain unknown fear gripped me amplifying my pulse rate turning my beat and breath erratic, it was then that I realized that I was too sensitive and terribly lonely; I somehow didn’t realize when the phase from being social turned solitary but it sure was a gradual process. In a flash love seemed a farfetched thing and all that I needed now was a friend, a person who befriended me despite my flaws, my uncanny nature and my fickle mood swings because even I was no ideal perfect person. Letting out a sigh I crawl back to my bed and wait for weariness to take over and lull me to sleep taking me to the world of dreams where life though is not full of glee but someone somewhere is there with me.

In moments of despair,
It’s not always love that you need,
It’s just a true and caring friend that will suffice.

-Fatima

Saturday, October 1, 2011

An Incomplete Story....






Tonight I feel the need to be engulfed in your arms,
Rest my head on your heart,
And listen to the rhythm that surrounds,
Forgetting the world around…

A moment of bliss,
A moment of joy,
Hoping you won’t deny…
Is all that I have been wishing.

I don’t know how does it feel,
To be loved by the one you love,
For once I wish to be there,
To feel and revel.

To stare in your eyes,
To look in your soul,
To melt and merge in you,
Though it only last for a day…

I wish I were the key,
To unlock the doors of your heart,
And know I’m the one,
Who resides in thee…

Tonight yet again I feel the need,
To be the laughter in your silence,
The memory in your moments,
And the song that your heart sings…

- Fatima

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Fantasy...



Fantasy

The pain has frozen,
And the tears barely fall...
Feel to be engulfed in your embrace,
And be cocooned in your arms.

Wish life was a fairy tale,
With love conquering all...
Where the prince charming kissed,
And all was well after all.

But life is a harsh reality,
Each step you walk, a sacrifice awaits...
Why you and me, I ask??
Ah! God doesn't answer just a smiling face.

-Fatima

P.S:  Edited the P.S somehow don't want everyone to read it :)

Friday, July 29, 2011

Crossed Paths.....

Crossed Paths.....



Untold unexpressed emotions lead her to a dark alley where stark silence lingers and the shadow seems to fade, a confused numb pain takes over her as she tries to elude and sever the past. Knocking every door on her way hoping to see her beloved's face only to realize he's gone too far away.

-Fatima


P.S: My first ever attempt at writing a 55 words fiction..dunno how it has come out...do leave your views :)


Image courtesy: Google

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Yearning For You....

Yearning For You....




Close yet so apart,
Though not really afar,
The distance makes me shrill...
Wanting me to hold you,
Near to my heart.
With every ebb and tide,
A nebulous anguish engulfs me...
And the warm mellow feeling fades,
Stabbing me to the core,
And tears threaten to fall...
As I languish in amour...

-Fatima 





Saturday, July 2, 2011

- Koi Apna Sa -

- Koi Apna Sa -




Suni suni sadko pe,
Koi toh musafir hota...
Kaali andheri raaton mein,
Koi toh tanhayoon ka saathi hota...

Shaant aur surili raaton mein,
Jagmagate sitaron k jaisa...
Kaale badalon k sang,
Koi toh chand jaisa saathi hota...

Rhim jhim savan mein,
Saat rangon jaise muskurata...
Reait mein paani jaise,
Koi toh aansuon ka saathi hota...

Yeh dil kuch na chahe,
Paharoon jaise akeli raina mein...
Bus chund saanson jaisa apna,
Koi toh saacha saathi hota...

-Fatima

P.S: My first ever hindi poem and the theme is friendship not love!  

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Symphony of the silent night !

A continuation from this series...Moments(Post #5)

Symphony of the silent night !
(Post # 6)


It was a cool night after a scorching day, she was sitting by the sea face on the concrete pavement eyeing the vast expanse of sea before her. The full moon was in shades of dull light yellow and playing hide and seek with the dark black clouds that adorned the starry sky, the weather was pleasant after the city was hit by showers an hour or so back... She sat there hugging her knees resting her chin on them. She seemed to be tranquil on the front but was feeling a mess inside, the silent winds sent shrills down her spine resurrecting the buried pain and emotions and a tear trickled from the corner of her eye making its way down her cherry cheeks clouding her eyes, yet she sat unmoved lost in her own reverie.


Sitting on a lone bench,
Eyeing the splendid sea...
The gushing sound of waves,
Brings back some memories to me !

The ardour of rains,
And the calmness of breeze,
Makes me want to believe...
You too care for me !

On days when I fear,
I wish you were there to hold me...
But all I can do is...
Hold back my tears still loving thee.

Neither can I deny,
Nor can I accept,
Yet at times like these...
My heart wishes you too loved me !


Breaking from her trance she realized they were just like the shore and the sea; neither can they be together nor apart but at some point they do meet and at times, wait is the only hope you have. Thinking so she let out a sigh and gathered herself, she was a strong girl and she had to be one for them...she could just not loose hope and cry...maybe love was not meant to be but friendship forever! Saying so to herself she walked home with a smile though her eyes had a different tale to tell.

-Fatima 

P.S: Image courtesy google



Thursday, May 5, 2011

....Jaane Anjaane....



....Jaane Anjaane....

Bewafa na mein, bewafa na woh...
Zindagi ke mele mein,
Pyaar ke khel mein,
Tanhan hoon mein, tanhan hai woh....

Phool aur kaantein,
Raastein mein beche hai dono...
Girte sambhalte aapni manzil ki aur chalte,
Bahar aur patjhad ke jaise hum milte bichadte...

Zindagi ke iss khel mein,
Anjaan se safar mein,
Tanhan hoon mein...
Najaane kaisa hai woh?

-Fatima

P.S: A poem in Urdu after long back though its a bit small...hope you guys like it, will wait for your comments as well as constructive criticism as always... :)

Sunday, April 3, 2011

True Joy !!



SO INNOCENT..............


         
                 Children the word itself is so delightful that words such as altruistic, naive, loving, gentle come to our mind. The best years of one's life are the childhood days; but then this is not always true as pangs and sufferings of some also surround us.
           
          Words cannot describe the immense pain that several undergo ...even though they might not tell about their grief but their heart tells so eyes are the windows to ones heart. If you can read a persons eyes, you can understand the person and his feelings. But despite preaching all this among our fellow beings how many of us really follow this practically and understand it's true meaning? Well very few! The earth is burdened yes, burdened with a plethora of people who live for just themselves and don't see others... their needs or their sufferings, these are the people who should come out of their shells and look what life really is ! Life is not only about enjoying the bounties and earning a hefty amount it's about understanding one another and spreading love and bringing joy and happiness in others life.
            
            Ask an orphan who never saw his parents,whatever be the reason his feelings and sufferings remain same..they are waiting for someone; someone to call their own. The ecstasy of a child being adopted is far more than we can imagine! Not even a hefty salary can compare to the joy and yet, there are so many people who dread; dread to adopt a child .. because they fear.. fear this society, the people and others who might raise voices against them…and then there are who wish for their biological child no its not wrong to expect that but then many people are forced into second marriages just for the sake of their "khandan ka waris" as they say (esp. in-laws you can say) this is not just fiction but the harsh reality esp in India and the sub-continent ! And then there are who treat such kids badly and abuse them just coz they are orphans or not your real kid, better give the child for adoption rather than making him/her suffer, you are not only hurting the child but indirectly committing  a sin in the eyes of god . 

The holy scriptures emphasis the “ An orphan b treated gently with love n respect ”  but despite this fact there are many who treat an orphan badly and see them as sinners wherein they themselves are doing a sin…There are very less people who don’t do like this and give such kids their due right.. 

         "Hope all people understand this coz if, they do so the world of such a child will surely light up & it will b visible and then surely love, good will and harmony will prevail in this world and maybe then we will realize what true joys are!"

P.S:  Off lately I'm thinking a lot more like over analyzing and that is really bad coz eventually it'll hurt me, so I thought of refraining from writing poems or write ups that target the emotions and all at the moment...so comes out this neutral post!

-Fatima


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Friday, March 18, 2011

Lonesome Seasons….



Lonesome Seasons...

March, April and May;
Hoping the sunshine will brighten the day.

Sunrays disperse themselves in the sky,
Unclogging the gloom obscuring the view,
Still contented, she smiles and sways…
As the sun blazes in the noon’s of May!

June, July and August;
Wishing the showers will wash the pain away.

The rainbow peeks through the sky,
Giving her hope, he will soon come home…
Longing and praying for his arrival,
Every year June just passes by!

September, October and November;
Reminiscing the memories buried deep within the heart.

Faded and crumpled, she lies
Just like the leaves beneath the sky…
Enamored and enchanted by his aura,
The November mist slowly glides!

December, January and February;
Waiting for love to gently course its way.

Basking in the subtle sun,
And enclosing the surging emotions,
She tries to elude bouts of melancholy…
In the cold and dark December nights!

Yet not living in an illusion,
Nor waiting for life to turn into a fairy tale…
She smiles with her heart and says,
I still love and live life, come what may!

-Fatima

P.S: The condition of people waiting for their loved ones back home when they are away for months or years at a stretch....


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Dream Of You !

Dream Of You ! 



Sounds of the bittersweet melody,
Resonates deep within my soul...
As I lay there hoping for warmth after the coldness has gone.
I know it ain't the case and I shouldn't expect,
As I know I've blown all the chances that've come my way,
Yet there is a forlorn hope, that you truly didn't walk away....

You gave me hope, you gave me joy...
You were my light at the end of the night,
Time passed by and days too rolled
Yet there is a question that still looms...
Why did you teach me to walk again? 
When you were to leave me crumpled all alone on my own....

It's not that I did not try,
A little more time is all that I needed
Or maybe just a bit of love would have done...
I was just too scared to confess and too insecure to lose,
Lost and confused is what I was back then,
Yet it was me who had to choose.

I dunno why I still love you?
When all I should do is try to forget you....
I'm not stalking nor am I insane,
But I just can't seem to let go...
Wearing a smile on my face and a frown in my heart...
I lead my life in thy memoirs....

-Fatima


Sunday, January 30, 2011

Longing!

Longing!



Standing on the shore, gazing at the sea;
The sun turns mellow and the sky ocher,
The gleaming water sweeps, as I walk wondering by;
Waiting for his arrival I let out a sigh,
As the sun finally sets, I turn back to see...
On the shore he awaits, just for me!


-Fatima