Those Sunlit Nights

Prelude to This

The sun was slowly growing dim. They were sitting on an isolated bench eyeing the frozen expanse of the sweet unsalted lake. Days like these were his favourite; snow laden mountains, chilly winds and memories. He often heard people say, winters harden your heart yet to him they bought warmth. A box of nostalgic memories leaving him barren like his favourite oak tree but wrapped in hope.

Letting out a puff of foggy breath he spoke, "Weird isn't it people could never love you, even though you gave them your everything. And still these are the very same people who eventually fall in love with another, hating you and damaging you to the core. So much damage that the world around you thinks you want love in your life; like a love affair or even marriage out of love. When in reality you are questioning love and the idea behind it, whether you will be loved or will love someone. You're scared.."  he hastily ended heaving a sigh.

She held his mitten covered palms in hers tightly not knowing what to respond. How does a grieving heart mend another? She didn't want to lie or maybe she couldn't. It was a short while later that she began speaking her voice soft,

"Sometimes you're hurt to such an extent that even though tears fall from your eyes, there is no pain in your heart. You are numb and all you feel like is to drown yourself in despair, or to hug someone tightly or if you're like me consume caffeine. But sadly none help, not a single one. Moreover the reason due to whom you're in this state, doesn't bother or maybe never did," although her voice verged the near of tears she continued, "I wish to get wet in the rains and pour out all my tears, maybe, maybe then there will be pain and the numbness subside.."

Time passed languidly as she let the tears finally fall, crying for all those moments that made her nostalgic. She cried, cried for them both and truly letting go of the past. Hugging her deeply, he embraced his present as she did hers too. The mellifluous melancholy orchestrated a symphony in cacophony as the sun lastly set.

-Fatima   

Sequel to This

Love Letter Writing Contest: Love, Lost And Found

Note: This story was written in October 2013, for a short story contest. Although I didn't win it, I decided to share it out here. I know it's a bit late but those days my blog was closed and better late than never :)

......

It was half past six and the last rays of sun were slowly setting welcoming the pinkish hues with fading blue, when a knock on the door startled her. Though it was early dusk it was a little uncommon for a visitor at this time. Keeping aside the partly folded clothes, she got up slowly and opened the door.

“Sorry for the late hour madam, these are some letters we accidentally came across.  It seems they were sent years ago but somehow couldn't reach the intended person. They are addressed to a certain Miss Aaliya, can you call her please.” Said the postman.

“It is me. And letters for me? Who would write to me? Anyways thank you.” Aaliya took the letters and stood at the door for a whole minute. Closing the door she headed for her bed and began inspecting the coverings, there were a million questions swarming her mind. The envelope looked rugged, the color too was fading and the ink on the cover was discolored when she caught sight of a faded name. A sudden sense of nostalgia gripped her, flickering with past memories she took the letters with trembling hands and began reading.

July 25th, 1940

Dear Aaliya,

Tough and tumultuous times lie ahead. And so here I am, sitting down to pen down a letter in the hope that all my love reaches you. I am not quite assured that I will have the chance to send this to you anytime soon. Yet I write to keep the faith alive in both you and I.

The sun is going down and we are surrounded with nothing but infinite stretch of gleaming water. I don’t really know where we are at the moment, maybe in the Pacific Ocean. But I don’t wish to discuss the state of affairs here nor the perils of being at war. I wish to feel loved and remain positive.

It’s been such a long time that I last saw you, the twinkle in your eyes and the innocence in your smile. Sometimes I feel I don’t belong here, I feel like coming running back to you. I liked it there, the rainy days and the messy fields. Those carefree days when we sat arm in arm under the banyan tree gazing at the serene blue sky, envisioning  an independent future. There was a kind of magical silence still the calmness didn’t haunt me.

Here too, I gaze at the sky seeing it change colors from time to time. However, my dear I don’t feel the tranquility I felt then. Hours pass by in the silent night as I keep on pondering of the catastrophe awaiting. It is uncertain, even more uncertain than the rains.  And then an unknown fear grips me, what will happen tomorrow? Will a bright sunshine greet me or the night cloak me forever. It is in those moments I question my decision and realization dawns, I chose this mission to protect people, to protect you.

I doubt my sweetheart I can continue anymore, I must at once leave for we’re being called upon. I will write at every chance I get, do not be uneasy for when you don’t receive my letters. I promise to post them the moment my feet touch the land.

Give my love to my father, tell him I’m safe.

Your Beloved,
Imraan

To read the full story please click here.

-Fatima

Deep Within

I lay there wide awake..

Bathing in the pearly light of the moon..

Trying hard to bind myself in shackles..

And hold my heart in a cage..

But yet again today looking at the starlit sky..

Tears slowly stream down my face

As my heart whispers your name..

-Fatima

P.S: Blogging after really long time, feels good to write here again!

Rainbow..

The clouds have cleared 

And the sun now shines

With you standing by my side 

My soul is free from misery.

Bruised For Life

The wind had an eerie calm yet it was captivatingly charming, as she left the dingy motel. She hated every waking minute of her life doing the unworthy work but unfortunately having no other choice she crumpled. The wind blew more sharply making her drape her flimsy shawl more tightly to her chest as she trudged through the thin veil of night. There was nothing in sight apart from the lone moon as her companion as she walked for miles. Finally stopping at a bare fountain, she let out a frigid breath. She longed to sit down and gather little strength but she couldn’t think of sparing any minute. She had to reach the cottage near the outskirts of the town before midnight. It was a night of great importance and she couldn’t afford to be late today. After all it was his birthday, her son’s first birthday. Her only savior, in this ruthless world.      

-

A letter from Me to You

Wish you and I talked

Talked like a pair of strangers

Though I know your identity and you mine.

Still I wish we had a bond,

A bond that could transcend the ordinary companionship and time.

But, then when I think a little more about it…

I realize you’ve become my confidant

Like a puzzle fitting pieces of you and me.

Woven together inextricably,

Just like the grains of sand and sea till eternity.  

Kuch Ankahee Baatein...

NOTE: This is guest blog post I wrote for Nelton D'Souza's blog Just A Minute Here's the link to the post http://justamin.blogspot.in/2013/01/kuch-ankhaee-baatein.html


Something in Urdu for a change or rather something written by me apart from reviews and all after long for a change. :)

**
Jazbat aise hue hamse khafa

Hume toh laga hum askho ko hi bhul gae..

Dil mei unki yaadon k sahare,

Hooton pe muskan aur zindagi mei tanhayee

Liye hum yunhi chalte rahe..

Jab ek roz unse nazre mili..

Woh andheka kar ke chale gae..

Uss din dil roya

Aur aankon se aasu beh gaye..

**
woh kehte hai bhula dena mujhe,

na humsafar hun na hamnava,
teri zindagi mei ek rahi hoon..
kal tha kal kya pata...

**

Ek raat aisi aae hai,

Jab teri yaad satae hai…

Andhero mei ghum

Aankhen hai num..

Dhundli hai manzil..

Lekin tanhae hai sang..

Aaj phir ek raat aisi aae hai..

Jab teri yaad dil ko satae hai…

Sugar Me

It was eventide; the moon was aglow and stars adorned the black sky. She was standing blindfolded on the deck of a luxuries yacht. The cool breeze was blowing swiftly ruffling her long lustrous locks and her sari making her shiver. It was their first wedding anniversary and he wanted it to be memorable for her.

She was dressed in a dark midnight blue sari with a silver low cut blouse with just minimal jewelry and bangles. She was walking slowly with her hands outstretched trying to find him but he just kept on slipping. He watched her amusedly as her anklets jingled melodiously and he felt heat rise up in his body as he slowly walked towards her. Stealthy he came and stood behind her coiling her in his arms. Smiling she stretched her neck to the left, allowing him to kiss there. His eyes glinted as he brushed them across her smooth skin before leaving a kiss there. This is when she took off her blindfold.

“Armaan…” she let out and relaxed in his hold gently placing her palm on his face, gliding it down his neck past his cheeks and lips. She smiled and said, “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“I know...” he replied entwining his fingers with her pulling her close, inhaling in her sweet scent.

“What are you up to? Let me go, you’re not touching me at least not so soon.” She said slipping away from his hold.

So she wants to play, he mused. Very well then two can play this game, smirking he walked towards her picking her up in his arms nuzzling her neck.

“Put me down this very instant” she muttered and glared at him. Shocked at the sudden turn of events, he slowly dropped her to the floor.

“What the hell is wrong with you? I planned all this for you and there you are glaring at me. Care to tell me what is the problem?” was all he managed to say trying to keep his anger at bay.

She was trying to suppress her smirk but it was just impossible. Keeping a straight face devoid of sweetness she replied, “That stubble of yours, your priced possession well that’s my problem. I simply do not like it!”

“Huh! What’s there to be so miffed about? I look sexy, don’t tell me you don’t like your husband to look good.” He replied coolly liking her irritation.  

“I recall a particular conversation…” she began and drifted away for a second before continuing “Well I’m sure you can recall, can’t you?” making his face go pale.

“So this is revenge, isn’t it?” he asked hesitantly.

“Tit for Tat, my dear husband. You either shave that stubble of yours or crave. The choice is entirely yours. And yes, do not give me the excuse you haven't carried your Gillette shaving kit because I personally took care of it sweetheart.” She whispered slyly kissing him lightly on his lips before heading back to the table amidst the candles and roses.  

This post is a part of the 'Shave or Crave' movement in association with BlogAdda.com

Seeking Solace

Seeking Solace

Pleasure and Ecstasy,

Love and Harmony,

Is all what I wish to seek..

Silence and agony, 

Pain and misery,

Is all what you give me..

But it's only in dreams,

In a world of my own,

Where you accept and don't reject..

-Fatima 

Yearning

Yearning

The sky turned a shade darker and the cool breeze wafted mingled with pleasant rains recreating an aura of mellifluous melody. She sat by the window pane idly eyeing the swaying bloom outside, repressing the hurt and tears waiting to be unleashed. Reminiscing him and his love she finally cries letting out a sigh.

P.S: The story is made up of 54 words, 55th word is the title.

-Fatima

Unending Night

Go away...

Goodbye forever...

My justifications were nothing but trash you said.

Ranted and raved that I hurt you...

Breaking your trust and stabbing your heart...

You blamed and let me go.

And now I sit here all alone,

Staring into the oblivion with love and tear filled eyes...

Waiting will you ever realize ??

Love was then,

Love is now...

Love will never be someone else..

As love will forever be you...

-Fatima

Fading

Sometimes you defy your own destiny,

Sometimes you alone are responsible for the woes in your life..

Sometimes you love so much that it becomes suffocation,

Sometimes your truth becomes your lie..

Sometimes you break friendships with your own hands..

Sometimes you be honest and the honesty backfires,

Sometimes you want to cry and not a tear falls..

Sometimes you stab and betray when all you wanted was not too..
Sometimes you know it was love but it comes across as something else...
Sometimes you  are only the cause of your shattered self,

Sometimes you deserve...deserve to be alone and isolated..

Coz sometimes you snatch your own hope and break the one you love...

-Fatima

confessions of my heart: interlude 2

Earlier chapter in this series can be found here...

Confessions Of My Heart: Part 1
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 2
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 3
Confessions Of My Heart: Interlude 1

Confessions Of My Heart: Interlude 2

Dear Armaan,

It’s a cold rainy night with the weak looming ominously ahead.  The rustling of leaves and sweet murmur of the pouring rain are the only sounds that whisper to me. My mind is stirring with a million things yet it is blank and tears are relentlessly rolling down my cheeks.

I’m crying, I can’t help but cry as there is this void that has engulfed me. My heart aches still I try to be strong and it’s breaking me apart each day. I wait, wait for you to come back and hold me in your embrace, loving and caressing me like always. There are days when all I want is to bridge the gap and come running to you as the distance that separates us in not miles apart but hearts apart. But, I can’t do that, can I? When it’s you who’s tearing us apart.

Without you I’m a burned down flame,

Whose ray, no longer lights the way…

A soulless flower, A coast-less bay…

A deemed topaz, A dried sea…

A mirthless bird and a hazy memory…

Without you I’m there but I don’t seem to be,

Come back my love,

As each day now seems like eternity…

I don’t have it in me to say anything more as I’m nothing but an emotional mess. Though you say waiting is a waste of time and I’ll realize it someday yet I will be right here waiting for you. And I wish it were easy but it’s hard to stop loving and say goodbye.

Love,

Faya

P.S: The poem is written by me.

Next Part:

-Fatima 

confessions of my heart: interlude 1

This is an interlude to a story written long back! Confessions of My Heart. I've been meaning to conjure this up since a long time but finally got this together.

The story is a divided into three parts and can be found here, and somehow the interludes basically occur  after chap 2 as chap3 in the end of this series...complicated?? I hope not :)

Confessions Of My Heart: Part 1
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 2
Confessions Of My Heart: Part 3

Confessions Of My Heart: Interlude 1

I finally asked you to dance
On the last slow song
Beneath that moon that was really a disco ball
I can still feel my head on your shoulder
And hoping that song would never be over

The sun sank behind the hilltops and the dark veil gradually began settling at eventide. The fragrance of the wet soil from the rain shower earlier was wafting in the chilly air. He was sitting on his bed idly crooning the song playing on his music player. His fingers adeptly moved along the strings of his guitar and the freshly brewed coffee lay neglected on the nightstand. It was a rather quite night with nothing much to do and he let himself immerse in the memories of her.  

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself
Wondering where you are

It was long since he last saw her though he thought of her on daily basis. It was hard not to think of her, it was like breathing and not living. His mind wandered away and he let his heart dominate once again. He was never the one who fought inner battles but off lately the calm that reigned receded. On a quiet night, on a sunny day, at work or even when in the company of friends he felt empty and alone. He was missing her. So much that, even the beach he had taken a liking to at times like these didn’t sedate his nerves.

For me you'll always be eighteen
And beautiful and dancin' away with my heart

 In these four years of togetherness it was not that they didn’t talk ever, they did but only when he was overwhelmed and overcome by need. A need so primeval and strong that only she could soothe his burning soul. Addiction or love he chose not to name it, at the end a nameless relation was easier to elude with no explanation to offer. It might look absurd to a third person but when had they been an obvious couple. Their relation was unconventional just like them.

I brushed your curls back so I could see your eyes
And the way you moved me was like you were reading my mind
I can still feel you lean into kiss me
I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me

He sighed and drew a long breath, when he remembered their last phone conversation. At least at the moment it was.

“So, this is finally our last talk.” He said. “Is it really??” she asked regaining her composure, before continuing “I just can’t seem to believe it is.”

It was weird that they didn’t speak for a while and let the quaint silence linger a little longer, neither sure how to go about. It was then that he spoke in a neutral tone, “Trapped you finally, didn’t I? Never knew I could come up with something so brilliant.” She smiled, before replying “Yes, you trapped me but not today. The day I fell in love with you was the day I was truly trapped.” He didn’t respond to her for a while as his voice was choked with emotions. He sighed sadly as he spoke, “Good bye and take care.” And all she could muster up was a quiet, “See you, take care.”     

You headed off to college
At the end of that summer and we lost touch
I guess I didn't realize even at that moment we lost so much

Coming out of his reverie, he shook his head to clear his mind of dusty thoughts and forgotten times. This isn't the time for retrospection, he admonished himself. But he couldn’t help but wonder and spoke out loud;   

“What are you for me, Faya? Are you my friend or my girl? Is this new feeling that I have is what I'm supposed to feel for my closest friend, or for the woman I love?”

Sighing contentedly, he sips his now cold coffee as the song on the music player changes. 

Interlude 2 
-Fatima

	lady antebellum - dancing away with my heart .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

 

Only Love

Only Love

Stars shine in the deep blue sky,

Drawing a path between You & I…

Murmuring thy love so cherubic,

Making my mind revert to the memories sweet…

Closing my eyes I think of you,

Letting your love slowly course through…

The silent wind upholds promises true,

Casting a smile on my face too…

The rhythmic beat of your heart…

Sounds so soulful and divine,

Quivering I lean and kiss you…

Your lips feel so gentle on mine…

It feels so good and real,

I wish you were really here…

Holding hands, caressing my hair…

Till eyes were heavy and dropping with sleep.

And I know we will someday be,

Content and cherishing…

From daylight to dusk,

Till then its only love that comforts me!

-Fatima

Breathless Breathing....

She walks on a broken path,
With broken hopes and dreams...
Trying to find her way out of the dark.

Gazing at stark bleak night,
With no one by her side...
She sobs letting out the tears buried deep inside...

Immeasurable infinite...
Is the blackness that surrounds,
Struggling to evade it she treads all alone...

Love is the reason they say,
Love is deception they cry...
But its only love that can heal and release !

-Fatima

Passion Colours Everything !

Passion Colours Everything !

Could I gain thy love tonight?

Could I hold you tight?

And never let you outta my sight...

And walk down the aisle in white !

Waking up in the middle of the night,

I fear losing you even in my dreams,

Don't drift apart my love...

Or else I'll be lost in this eventide !

Tears stream down my cheek...

Mumbling inconceivable words...

I cling to you like a child,

Not letting you leave my sight...

You peck my cheeks,

You kiss my lips,

You hold me close,

And soothe my ruffled soul...

You feel my sorrow,

You feel my pain,

Even in your despair,

You cajole me and ease my fear...

Slowly the clock ticks by...

And the solemnity sweeps away,

Life now sounds melodious...

As love and joy gleam in my eyes !

-Fatima 

P.S: Wishing you a very happy and prosperous New Year Guys...Hope you have a fun filled and exciting year ahead...Take Care !

Silent Song of the Heart!

Sitting under a chestnut tree she was lost in her own reverie; the coffee and the sandwiches lay there untouched on the smooth picnic cloth. It was a calm afternoon as the sun was subtle and the winds too blew almost quietly whispering amidst the deep hills. Some rabbits were busy playing hide and seek in the green lush bushes whilst the squirrels were busy gathering their nuts.

 It was not after sometime that her spell broke and she felt a familiar presence. Lifting her eyelids she stared at the most beautiful pair of dark brown eyes that were gleaming and equally gazing at her and lips that had a smile playing on them.

She was stupefied for a moment and fluttered her eyelashes when it dawned on her that she was not dreaming but he was here in reality. No pleasantries were exchanged as he made himself comfortable across her, pouring some coffee fending himself. He didn’t know if it was just a habit or on purpose that she always carried an extra cup of coffee or even meals with her, though he was rarely able to join her. Yet he liked this fact about her and it allured him all the more.        

Her cheeks had a tinge of red that glowed with her creamy skin, her big almond shaped hazel eyes peered in his and her petal like lips adorned a smile gracing his presence. Unlike other days today she wore a yellow summer dress, the one he liked and her hair were French braided and set on one side of her shoulder leaving the other bare.  

Silence was their ally at this present moment and they were comfortable with it though on certain days it irked her but bemused him seeing her usual calm self seething in anger. He waited patiently for her to break the hush that echoed. He was ideating her possible reaction when she suddenly spoke.

“It’s been long, isn’t it Nathan that we met like this?” she asked in a placid voice laced with sarcasm. He was neither shocked at her question nor her choice of tone but it did puzzle him.

“Almost six months to be precise”, he replied and fell silent. They had known the other since mid school yet it was a strange kind of relation between them neither were they friends nor lovers. It was not a matter of acknowledgement but escapism not from each other but oneself. It was rather weird that even now they studied in the same university but their paths hardly collided. She was training to be a psychologist whereas he was pursuing sailing. They were oddly different yet similar. 

“I missed you, Kate”, he spoke coming out of his thoughts. She was taken by surprise not by his words but with the intensity and depth of them. She knew what he meant nonetheless she replied, “You miss only those you forget, did you forget me?” throwing a question back at him before continuing “I didn’t miss you Nathan, I remembered you every waking second of my life.” The words took time to sink in and when they did he realized how vulnerable and attached they were to the other. Time, distance and even silence couldn’t separate them. That misunderstandings did rise but not at the cost of their relationship; it was not just friendship or mere romance that strengthened their bond but true companionship.

It was then that he spoke, “How can I forget? Can one forget to breathe and live!” her eyes grew moist for a moment as she interlaced her fingers with his resting her head on his heart.

Then all faded but the symphony of the serene heartbeats. 

-Fatima

Nothing Else Mattered....

Nothing Else Mattered…

Sweet as sixteen,

Lavish was her living,

Innocent and carefree she was…

Eschewed from the worldly harm,

She was secure in her haven!

Rough and rugged,

Life was an utter mess,

Lost and forlorn he was…

Dying day in and day out,

Struggling to make ends meet!

Different like chalk and cheese they were,

Pride and honour she exuded,

And people watched her in awe…

Disgrace and derision trickled,

When he crossed the very same path!

Like a wisp of air,

She came in his crumpled life,

Caressing his dripping wounds…

Showering love and care,

She gave him a new life!

Hugs and kisses he smothered,

Saying money was not his pleasure,

Basking and gleaming in his love…

Missing the greed in his eyes,

She fantasized a fairytale!

Clouded by dismay and despair,

Her cries tore her apart,

Breaking her like glass…

Leaving her barren and frozen,

They now call her an ice maiden!

She had loved him dearly,

But he didn’t really care,

Wishful had turned wistful…

With tears pelting from her eyes,

Yet they couldn’t melt the hardened ice!

Lusting for her fortune,

Slitting her soul,

He walked in azure…

Blood dripping like rain,

The stains on his hands shined unashamed!

Devoid of emotions,

He was now a voracious soul,

Faltering in the neon red lights…

Drinking and squandering,

He gave himself to a wench!

Nothing was his and all in vain,

Laughing at his own madness,

He fuddled all day and night…

Losing his own self,

He walked the long dark abyss!

Squashed by his guilt,

Clutching his head he fell to the ground…

Tears blurring his vision,

He drowned in his pain…

Till death finally came!

- Fatima

In The Blue of Night...

He extended his hands towards the fireplace to take in the brisk warmth; his eyes were fixed over the window on the snowflakes which were floating from the heavens dreamily. Their flow reminded him of her gait, she floated exactly like this and ever since their wedding he could hardly keep his hands off her. The thought brought a sly smile to his lips as he stood up slowly and stretched himself, perhaps he should try to warm his wife up a bit. A slight sound caught his attention and he turned around and saw her leaning against the door-frame with a slight smile lingering on her lips, the very sight of her roused him.

She was dressed in simple bare red sari with a golden low cut blouse that accentuated her curvy frame with just anklets and red glass bangles adorning her, her waist long hairs were damp from the shower earlier and were unbraided just the way he liked. His feet were fixated to the floor as he stood there almost in trance, his eyes not leaving her gaze even for a moment drinking her beauty. She slowly walked over to him and stood across interlacing her hands around his neck all the while not breaking the stare, his hands on their own accord twined around her waist interlocking her in a tight embrace and burying his face in her neck taking in her scent and reveling in her warmth.

Parting from him slightly yet standing close to him her eyes held a mischievous glint as she kissed the corner of his mouth and heard him groan, the very sound sent tingles down her spine making her weak in the knees; neither words were uttered nor a touch yet his unnerving intense gaze was arousing her in ways she could not name distracting her from everything else. Without uttering a word she turned around leaning against the wall that was beside her to calm her racing breath; when he didn’t follow her, disappointment started rising in her but before it could get her she felt the lights dimming and his hands touching her caressing her waist. She couldn’t think anymore, her eyes closed and her hands travelled from his chest to the nape of his neck all the way to his hair as his lips found hers, his hands grazing her waist and trailing to her spine all the while.

She didn’t have an idea how much time had elapsed as they stood against the wall plastered together and lost in another world, it was not long before he lifted her in his arms and lowered her down on the bed. Her chest was heaving up and down but she didn’t have a moment to breathe before she found herself in his arms again. 

Mayank, she tried to speak in an almost inaudible voice, Dinner is waiting. 

Dinner and afters are all right here, he didn’t miss a beat as he proceeded in the path that she had started for him tonight.  

-Fatima

P.S: First paragraph courtesy Ivre...thank you for writing it! :)