Languished in the Moonlight !

I really dunno why I wrote this poem, I was studying for my exam that is tomorrow but this thought just kept on haunting me dunno why? and just to free my mind I ended up writing this. I really dunno if, I've done justice or what I've written is making sense and is looking like a poem...or not...but I just had to pour out my emotions. Please give your honest reviews.

 Languished in the Moonlight !

The day has ended and the moon is in up-rise,

And the stars shine in the seamless black night,

The light goes down as a smoky aura engulfs,

The starry night is not silent anymore,

As the creatures of dark are on the roar.

The voracious souls now slowly ooze,

Where liquor is dew and vile is not anew,

Girls are slaughtered and fear is in sight,

As innocence is tarnished and lust is in the air,

And green notes no longer curb despair.

The fiesta is now livid and live,

Pleas and cries are spread wide, 

As the poor souls are openly advertised,

The wails and howls are now suppressed,

And the night goes cold and wild.

-Fatima

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P.S: Something that should not be ignored and nor should be called as stupidity on the girls part as some people say, though it's a social crime it is unavoidable at times due to circumstances.(Yes, I know people who say it's foolishness to go into the flesh trade but no one goes willingly you need to understand that rather than blaming them)

Am I Unique ?

I smile, I laugh and enjoy,

But I still dunno why?

Tears slide down my eye.

They say I'm a hoyden,

But I still dunno why?

Loneliness stays by my side.

Some say I'm fickle and fey,

But I still dunno why?

Not a sneer comes my way.

You say I'm whimsical and clumsy,

But I still dunno why?

People laugh when they pass by.

I coax and cajole and clog,

But I still dunno why?

Not a single soul answers my why.

Maybe I'm both sweet and sour,

But I still dunno why?

They all have a sly smile when I pass by. 

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-Fatima

Lost in the Oblivion !

You walk a lonely road,

The one that seems austere,

And then realization strikes,

Your lost and let out a sigh.

There is something missing,

As only questions are hovering,

And you don't know why?

Yet you walk an extra mile.

You pass several doors,

And cross many lanes,

In search of a lone being,

But you've reached nowhere.

You wait, wait until a long time,

To surmount your grief,

You trudge and tread,

Until you have no verve left.

As the sun finally sets,

And the light slowly ebbs,

A narrow path with spiral ways,

Leads you to a bleak and far off place.

-Fatima

POST #2

        Disclaimer: 

                     This again is just a random post based on an incident but more like a series which will have continuity. Hope you like it ! You can go back to this as it is a part of this series too... Post #1

   POST #2

 

              

         It had been an early rise, the colour of monsoon added to the vibrant nature, yet another day of rainfall. The cool breeze swayed deliriously and the trees swirled and animals hid in their niche as the sun was busy relaxing itself behind the layers of clouds! Finally, after an hour or so, the sun slowly crawled out of it's niche and the soft, warm rays penetrated my abode with utmost ease. The birds were now chirping and the fresh flowers bloomed welcoming a new day, a new start. It was a lovely day and I sank deeper into my blanket and snuggled inside it, unlike my younger sister who stood by the window and basked in the early sunlight. I however, didn't seem to find peace in the morning like most people do, I love the night and darkness as it provides me tranquility and comfort that I want, it is far more bright, warm and cozy in comparison to the broad daylight.

         
          I hid myself deep within the blanket until darkness completely engulfed me, sleep had left long ago, though I did feel sluggish. My mind wandered and I pondered slipping into my own world, contemplating and reflecting the past and the memories. Ah! and I realize the past has washed itself with the rains and purified me; but the remnants still remained though very vague. Exams are round the corner yet, I do not study. I'm not avoiding it deliberately but I'm unable to give my heart and soul to it, although I'm no topper not even close to being a topper but an average student, still something didn't seem quite right but what? I still am unable to find the reason for the sudden chaos that has engulfed me and my concentration too is dwindling since a past few days. It is such a freaking thing that you are busy figuring out the crap math sums wherein you can't even figure out the math of your life! Ain't it true? Yes, it is indeed but then it has always been me who searches answers or is in the quest of unraveling things and also the one who has to bear the brunt and scoldings from my dad as all the praises are reserved for my younger sister; the one who is very disciplined and never lies. Well that is one outlook that no matter how much I try to change I'm unable too.

          It is not that I'm jealous of her, in fact I'm very proud of her and she is my biggest support and my strength, who loves me more than any one could possibly do apart from my mother who is no more, though she was not my real mother she loved me more than anything in this world, I don't even know who my real mother was; my dad never spoke of her nor do I intend on finding about her, for this lady alone was my mother and will always be. It does pain and hurt and my heart cries when dad accuses me of every wrong committed and leaves me all alone. They say I've chosen this path myself, is it? I've been used to hear words like, 'chatterbox' ,'whimsical' and an 'emotionless person' not only from dad but from my aunt and some friends too. They encouraged her and she excelled too, but what about me? "Oh! Tamanna, no she is good for nothing and a madcap!". These words ringed loudly in my mind as if they were just said yesterday but then they were uttered long ago. It's true, Time heals all wounds but the memories never leave your side; they are etched in my mind and so I've simply recoiled in my shell and present a facade to this world. Speak what they wish to hear and listen only that should be heard. I guess hardly anyone apart from him knows that I have a flair for writing stories and poems; that I'm an intellectual person too whose true potential is not tapped and that I love silence and also that I'm a trapped soul, trapped in my own past who fears opening up for the fear of losing.

          A sudden wave of emotions hits me and the words rush out, I grab my diary that is kept on the bedside table and pen down,

Would you tell me if you're jaded or waxed ?

Or rather you prefer calling me unique and whimsical ?

Ideas and notions, is that the reason ?

Build a shell around me and started believing in fairies;

Oh! dear child

Wake up, Wake up to the gory reality that hides;

Smiles and frowns are a part of life !

Link to Next Part: 

-Fatima

Chronicles of an Escapist! #1

I've been acting a bit weird lately, just my other self you see. Whenever something happens I try to analyze it and delve deeper into it, something not new but what is new is I try to draw conclusions; at times I'm unable to and I'm left in a lurch other times I do reach to some answers.
Guess I'm home now-a-days due to the upcoming exams and all I do is just study and that's when boredom hits me. I'm not the one who can sit for hours doing the same thing be it studies or some other chore, I'm always on the run in the quest to do one thing after the other.
In childhood it was labeled as multitasking and extraordinary whilst now its mere restlessness and lack of concentration ! I'm amused at how fast perceptions change.

I wish to add more things under it, lets see what happens ! It could be anything; a vignette, a one shot, a random conversation or a free random verse...simply anything that comes to my mind.

Hope you enjoy it and do lemme know ! 

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POST #1

   

    The view was pristine and idyllic, they were sitting by the edge of the porch silently watching the sudden downpour. The sky was grayish and it was getting dark with each passing second. The wind was blowing harshly and leaves were scattered all around; the roses in the garden were withered and only small shrubs and violets that were close to the ground were safe from natures wrath. The calmness that prevailed was now lost and diffused into nothingness and it seemed as if the tempest would take over. The aura of innocence was overshadowed by that of vile and things no longer seemed to be austere.

         The clouds roared again and she quivered and let out a shriek, trying to process the thoughts and indications but she again failed to draw conclusions. It was something she loved right from the childhood, talking to nature, questioning it and trying to understand and unravel it as she felt it hid some very basic answers of her very existence; with the passage of time and responsibilities this interaction had reduced but never diminished.

         He sat beside her unlike her, he was calm and collected as he tried to gauge her state of mind; her face was an array of so many emotions and feelings yet they were quite  obscure for him to make out the true meaning of them. Dead silence lingered for a while, the downpour had relented and only slight sound could be heard, it had been some 30 minutes that nature was retracing back to its calm and serene self; the wind was now softer and cold compared to what it had been. He spoke out of the blue, Do you not think calmness always quells chaos? Though it seems all prosaic yet it gives birth to a hope unknown that fills the heart with mirth, curbs enmity and raises amity. There was a sudden lull in the conversation and it seemed insipid yet he did not know how to formulate his thoughts into words and let her know. She didn't revert back for quite a time, she was eyeing the sky that was now a darker shade of black and it remained intact; she was not much into thinking at the moment and was basking in the aftermath of calmness and rains.

         She spoke after long, It would be improper to say only calmness quells chaos; it could be the other way round too, can't it? As order comes after chaos and solitude is all what is needed to clear the mess and to tread ahead. It doesn't give birth to hope as hope is always there, it is just the revival and rebirth of it. Chaos at times is good as  you walk the untrodden road, see the gory reality and at times multiple faces of the same individual; it is good to know so much is hidden and you fail to notice it in the first glance yet you still in believe in fairies and hope is alive. It is this hope which may seem as small as a pea but it shakes mountains and flips the world upside down; It is just an allusion and it entices you and then you forgo and move ahead. It is all a part of the illusory world, a condition of mind, you see only that which you wish too and life is just a part of it. She felt it was quaint yet unsure if she could continue; she stopped midway to glance into his eyes, there was a gleaming smile in them and it reflected back in hers.

        And then all faded and diffused into the oblivion as they reverted back home.

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-Fatima 

Next

        
         

Confessions Of My Heart ! (Last Part)

I'm finally posting the epilogue of the story...It's a really short one though but then some thoughts and feelings can't even be expressed in words as words fall short and they can only be felt. Hope you can connect to it, like you could to the rest of the story, please do let me know what you all felt.
(Part 2)

(PART 3)

"I love you without knowing how, 

or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, 

without complexities or pride; 

so I love you because I know no other way." 

            Some stories begin in the night while some in the broad daylight; time passes by and things change yet something things are forever the same; just like minutes turning to hours, months into years and night into days, the cycle remains unperturbed as the nature balances each and everything in accordance to the other and fulfills it's duty.  

            It was a cold November night the weather was considerably below and she was a witness to it. The void and emptiness that had engulfed her was now dissolved into nothingness; her waist long hair played deliriously with the winds and sent a shiver down her spine. She was standing in her balcony her hands swayed idly and the room was filled with the jingling sound of her bangles, there was a distant connection of bangles and them; their very first conversation had been on the subject of bangles and their significance and till today she failed to understand why did they have that conversation which was no where near rational and yet it was significant in shaping their relation; guess somethings are better left to themselves rather than fumbling with them and trying to figure it out. 

          It was way past midnight and yet she didn't feel eerie in this desolate hour as she stood watching the full moon gleaming in the starry night. The moon and the silent night had been a witness to all; their unsolicited problems, impending confusions, their silence and even their talks which were stark opposite just like they were, yet there was harmony. It seemed like an eternity had passed as she waited for his arrival; suddenly she felt a tug in her heart and she could feel his presence as he silently came and stood beside her. 

         None of them spoke and only silence lingered; it was not they did not wish to speak but there was no need for speech when silence and their hearts conversed. The tinkling of her bangles and their hushed breaths sounded like symphony in the still night. After what seemed like aeons he finally let go and spoke in a subtle voice, "Your like  water to my parched soul and I'm attracted to you like a moth to a flame!" she smiled and a tear formed in the corner of her eye as he took her into his embrace and all she said was, "My endless wait is now over!". And the night faded and at last a new dawn commenced. 

"Then love knew it was called love.
And when I lifted my eyes to your name,
suddenly your heart showed me my way"   

-Fatima

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This is the end of the story. Hope you liked it and enjoyed it as much as I did  writing ! 

A random verse....

Would you tell me if your jaded or waxed ?

Or rather you prefer calling me unique and whimsical ?

Ideas and notions, is that the reason ?

Build a shell around me and started believing in fairies;

Oh! dear child

Wake up, Wake up to the gory reality that hides;

Smiles and frowns are a part of life !

With all my heart !

Well first off...the title of this poem dunno why but I wanted to write this one...could have named it something else but couldn't !!

This poem is dedicated to someone close as in for someone in my family...!! Those who know me do know !!

With all my heart !]

I wanna be there with you,

Not only when the sun shines,

But also when the moon lingers on in the night.

 I wanna be there with you,

Not only when your exploring the hills,

But also when your stuck in a ravine.

I wanna be there with you,

Not only when the smile gleams in your eyes,

But also when frown catches your sight.

I wanna be there with you,

Not only when your friends are by your side,

But also when adversity strikes.

I wanna be there with you,

Not only when you fly high,

But also when you fall from the sky.

I wanna be there with you,

Not only when your brimming with joy of your newborn,

But also when you have nothing to say at all.

I wanna be there with you,

Not only when the days are long,

But also when the night is going on.

I wanna be there with you,

Not only when you walk straight,

But also when your taking your last breath.

I wanna be there with you,

Not only because you love me,

But also because I love you, now and forever.

-Fatima 

Confessions Of My Heart (Part 2)

Here I come up with my second part finally ! 

(Part 2)

"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

        Time passes by and only memories remain. Memories are like story books and when we have quiet moments or moments of introspection and reflection that we allow them to catch up with us. I too, do the same but this is confined to only a particular set of memories; as only they have the power to stir my soul and make me feel vulnerable, yet I cannot do anything to relieve them. It's not that I've not tried, but the more I try the difficult it becomes for me to let go or maybe I do not want to let go, as they are the very basis of my existence; and I cannot even in the wildest of my dreams block them away, though in reality I try to avoid and block her as much as I can, by not only hurting her but my own self. 

        Four years ! A pretty long time to not talk to someone close. It really requires courage to maintain a calm demeanor and a tough exterior when your a mess inside; searching for answers, when you know that a certain someone holds them, that only they have the key to unlock your heart and free you from the shackles that bind you but yet you avoid them. It's been quite a time since I mused over this and the smile that tugged my lips faded into the oblivion. 

       The sun was still tugged in it's niche. It was an early Sunday morning, the wind was chilly and the weather cold. The dew was still intact on the leaves as I headed towards the beach. The shore was calm unlike my insides where things were not at all tranquil. The water gleamed and the gentle waves were bobbing up and down; being weekend there was not a single soul in sight probably people are busy catching sleep after a hectic week but I couldn't even do that and be in peace. At that moment all I wanted to do was make my way back into the woods where these thoughts would be far away from my mind so that I could contemplate my actions and justify my reasons as, Solitude is not always the solution to all your problems but at times it helps you escaping them ! But my feet refused to budge and finally I gave in and settled on the sand, eyeing the sea. The soft and gentle wind blew transporting me back and I was forced to open the closed doors of my heart.

      Life at most times had not been easy, but I had to toil and pave my way through the hardships, stay away from my loved ones to achieve things and make a place for myself in this world where losing is easy but gaining far more difficult. There have been days when sleep was far away as I had to complete my tasks; I had to do so, I couldn't run away from my responsibilities, no matter how much I wanted to take a break and breath freely. 

       It was not love at first sight for me, in-fact I didn't realize my love for her until a long time as I never really believed in love; come to think of it I'm still clueless as to when did she make a place in my heart? I remember vividly, how she never really talked to me and only gave me a shy smile and stammer while talking to me despite being a boisterous and a talkative girl, famous for her ignorance on small things and her sly smile. Some people mistook her ignorance as her naivety but somehow I couldn't as I found her to be a bit shrewd and audacious with a pinch of innocence. I was friends with her but the more I got to know her, the more I tried not going near her as I feared loosing myself in her. I being one of the most sought after guys, a heartthrob; I never really did pay attention to girls in that sense; but I was drawn to her slowly and steadily. She was a simple girl with a simple lifestyle yet she seemed to capture my heart and soul. But all was good in my world until after one year when she contacted me again, and since then life has been a roller coaster ride for me. 

       As now I saw a different girl in front of me, who had build up courage and would now talk casually to me like all my other friends. But then call it destiny or something else that is done deliberately she sneaked under my radar and was slowly getting under my skin. She always used to question me, why do I have a protective wall around me? Why am I a mystery, not that mysteries are not good but she seemed to mean something else like she was hoping to find some answers as in an unsolved riddle. What was even more shocking was that she never left those questions hanging but was in the quest to find those answers; in the hope to know me or rather her own self. It was not she who was vulnerable to me, but I was to her, she never realized perhaps I never did show. I tried hurting her, avoiding her and et al. but she persisted even that. How so badly I wanted to hold her then and speak my heart but then I just couldn't do so. I could not let her know how she affects me nor could I display the real me and my true feelings to her; and as time passed by, after trying for long, she gave in and let me go and I was free.

      But the question still lingers; am I truly free? Am I not hers and she mine? Has she really let me go? I choose to not search for these answers and leave it to time and destiny to take the decision, and this time I will accept it; though it means I've to let go and open up to her as my real self, there was no resisting anymore. 

" I love you only because it's you the one I love;

I hate you deeply and hating you.

Bend to you, and the measure of my 

changing love for you,

Is that I do not see you but 

love you blindly."

              

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With this ends my 2nd part...Hope you like it, please give your honest reviews both comments and criticism. 

Link to Next Part: Interlude 1

-Fatima