"For one human being to love another is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation."
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
Off lately my thoughts seem to revolve around love, yes love nothing new yet it is! I've been coming across several magazines and articles and they all seem to concern about relationships and how...How to make a woman fall in love with you and vice-versa and some other relating to this matter! And then one fine day just out of the blue or after just one meeting you pronounce "This is the one".
Well quite a time since I mused over this subject, as I literally had drowned myself in melancholy and left no place for love in my life; well don't know if this is entirely true or just another fiction of my mind that it has cooked up to not accept the harsh realities of life or otherwise. Since all I do is that and not let out the true things that are hidden deep within, with this one I just hope to know myself more. I guess I should stop rambling though I know its all haywire and vague but that's the way it is, let me just begin before you run away.
I wonder really wonder now-a-days if, most people out here have any damn idea what love really means? Or feel its endless depth and flights of infinite passion. I am no one to comment on this fact, because I fear believing in love or rather I fear accepting love out loud, reasons still unknown to me but what I do know, believe and truly feel is that love is more of emotions and understanding. Some of my friends might be shocked reading this as just two days back I was fighting with myself over the existence of love and doubting it to the fullest when my heart knew love does exist and hence this post, coming back to where I was. In an age of instant gratification and casual sex and one night stands or rather just a casual fling where love is more about physical presence, gifts and constant conversing with each other rather than emotional and a spiritual connect, would they accept years of separation and hardships, minimal meeting...let alone conversing with each other and just a faint chance of being united? Not to mention there are people who endure all this but it's quite rare, ain't it?
The recent trend being "Break k Baad" or rather "Move On" (Fast Track :D) be a better option? Asked a friend some days back to whom I didn't talk for long..."How is it between you and your boyfriend?" The instant answer that popped up was, Ah! We broke up some 2 months back....when 2 months back she claimed He is the One...my-o-my !! And when the subject of conversation is me...my friends remark; forget him, move on you'll meet someone else and so on......What I don't get is, how do you stop loving someone so damn fast? If, my friends if at all read this they're gonna bash me up, though I know they won't read as most of the times they find my write ups esp. the ones on Love to be ludicrous as they feel I don't believe a word of what I write and all...and maybe some might even stop talking to me saying, you think we are like this? This is our view on love? but hello I'm just saying in general nothing personal. But keeping that apart where was I? yep, Do these people really know what love is, the sacrifice and the pains it invariably demands or the passion and zeal that keeps you trudging till the end? Maybe I'm sounding ludicrous to some but then even I agree on this that when love is painful and abusive its advisable to move away but just minor disagreements and not giving time or freedom... no freedom is not the correct word say just the slight signs of troubles and the relationship is snapped. "Forever" is mere weeks or months!
And that is the very reason my confusion and fear for love takes birth, nevertheless I love and that too wholeheartedly though it remains unrequited! Call me mad or just a person who is stalking someone and not truly loving and caring or label my love as infatuation or anything else as a matter of fact, but I can't deny my love though it means just silently loving knowing that person will maybe never reciprocate coz, I know and believe that there will hardly be anyone will truly understand me and my love and the extent of my love and without knowing just label it call me whimsical and what not...but does it matter? No, doesn't matter anymore as I'm tired of fighting and now I just want to lead myself to where my love and my destiny takes me. On an ending note I'm reminded of the words by Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell,
"You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine....
You make me happy,
When the skies are Grey;
You'll never know dear
How much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away!"