This was the most difficult poem for me to pen down...I was so lost in the feelings yet I was not getting words to express them, I really don't know how it has come out...so please give your honest reviews...hope you like it ! Thanks a lot :)
A Walk Down The Memory Lane
The enchanting darkness settles down,
And the moonlight shimmers in the narrow lane,
As the world around me transforms,
Awakening me to the warmth of my being.
The melancholy slowly fades down,
And the insanity too flees away,
The satin soft snow falls from the heaven above,
Engulfing me in its soulless life and ways!
Days roll and months pass by,
And the songs of the songster,
Kindle a fervent of hope and joy;
As I drench myself in the rains of July.
The chirping birds and the blooming flowers,
Call out to me and shed some light,
The unshed tears and unspoken words,
Are now seen in sight.
At the wake of dawn,
The drops of dew too spill,
And earth too exudes the innate beauty of spring,
As I reconcile the existence of love in my being.
-Fatima
Down Memory Lane...now makes me think about the past... Not done... :D
ReplyDeleteBut, good..good... I liked reading it...
wonderful...
try a write up on the same topic !
amazin work as usual...but still dont know y i found it a bit incomplete....n bad u stole my topic...:P
ReplyDeleted poem vil b etched in my memory 4 a long tym.;)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful work fatima... a little sadness, a bit of joy, hope... all feelings beautifully included... i like the last line... the existence of love in your being... never give that up... because thats what define you, and me, and everyone to that matter...:)
ReplyDelete@ Arundhati: Yeah memories...mean a lot in one's life na.. :) I had started off with writing a write up but ended up with this..lets see if I can somehow go back to it and complete it :)
ReplyDelete@ Vaisakhi: Thanks..yep you guessed it right it is incomplete, I wished it to be incomplete..I wanted the reader to see it :)
And awe...I din know you were thinking on similar lines :P
@ Apeksha: Really ?? good good :)
@ Harsha: Hey Harsha, good to see you...yeah your said rightly...a pinch of everything..but I guess that what makes the entire life !
Thinking yeah does defines us a lot...no matter what we just can't give up love and hope in our life !
Glad you liked it :)
i swear........4rm where do u gt d perfect wrdzz.........n a beautiful description n blend of feelngzz n nature....
ReplyDeleteOh! I love the snows and the sand walks... :-) Nice poem.
ReplyDeletesauvik
@ Prajakta: hmm....the easiest answer to your question is Dictionary :P on a serious note dunno how come I ended up writing this..coz after the moment elapsed I was questioning myself what prompted me to think on those lines, though my sub conscious knew...I wanted something I can tell people..dunno what it is.
ReplyDeleteBut glad you liked it dear :)
@ Sauvik: Thanks..and who doesn't love them ??
Glad you liked it!
Hey, Hi...
ReplyDeleteWell, to be honest, the choice of words are great...the first half of the poem is quite enchanting, but, to be honest, the second half didn't do much justice...felt the flow getting wavered a bit...
Anyways, a good canvas...
Regards,
The Silhouette...
Hi Fatima,
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting the link over Indiblogger ..this is a wonderful poem.
What I like about it is the Glimpses and mesmerizing thoughts of some of the best moments of life we all seldom gets and recalls and sometime we are left with just thoughts and sometime medium to express it is not present with us , like when we travel in train ..etc. But you really expressed your feeling so nicely that I'm completely amazed.
I too often tries hands over poems sometime they come easily sometime its touch to express..and feel like would I will be able to put those feeling in words.
Thanks for sharing :)
Hi Fatima,
ReplyDeleteVery well penned, just a suggestion, try to minimise the use of "the" "and" etc. because they hinder the flow of poem...otherwise its a very well written piece...good job..
PS- its just what i thought, no offence please...
beautifully expressed. touchy.
ReplyDelete@ The Silhouette: Well yeah I agree the poem wavers at the end and that's what I intended it to be somewhat...it gave a sense that though the person is saying finally the storm has calmed down they haven't they are still unsteady somewhere.
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed reading it!
Take Care,
Fatima
@ vivek: Well thanks to you that you saw the link and then even went on to visit here and drop a comment!
ReplyDeleteWell quite a different interpretation of the poem, but guess that's what makes the poem worthwhile...different people different views.
Glad you liked this one.
Take Care,
Fatima
@ The Fallen Poet : Hey thanks a lot for the advice and no I didn't take it in offense, I guess your right will surely try it next time onwards.
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it though!
Take Care,
Fatima
@ pramod: Thanks a lot!
ReplyDeletethis was an abstract one...took me some time to get what it actually meant but now its beautiful...
ReplyDelete"As I reconcile the existence of love in my being. "
absolutely perfect...and i dont know why i just felt that you could still add to it..like few more lines just to justify the silence.. :)
@ Unruly Rebel: It's good to be abstract you know a single thing may imply to some many more depending on the person's view !
ReplyDeleteMaybe maybe I could add some more verses into it but then I just couldn't get into the feel of it...
Glad you liked it!
Do keep visiting again :)
Take Care,
Fatima