a handful of memories...

Ah! I don't believe I've come this far. When I began writing I had no idea I would write so much that someday I will have my own personal blog and moreover I will be writing a 100th  post. If, someone had told me earlier I would have termed that person insane. Basically reason being I never had faith in my writing nor did others around me had. In fact people who knew me before I began writing were shocked that I can even put two and two words together and create something meaningful. Then again, there came people in my life who had faith in me and my writing and somewhere I owe this 100th post to them.

For me, this isn't really a day for celebration coz one of the most important  person in my life, who had faith in me and my writings and who encouraged me not just to write but everywhere is not in my life. We have parted ways to be very truthful, it's none other than my soul-searched friend to whom I had even dedicated a poem here, but then again situations arise and people walk away and we have to live with that or rather learn to live.

If I'm honest to myself this was one and maybe the only person I ever wrote for. I even planned on quitting writing but somehow I couldn't and the reason being I still write for this person. There are a lot of happy memories and moments, unfulfilled wishes and dreams and most importantly what I shared with this person. I realized if, I let go of my writing I'll let go of myself the little bit of me left completely and I don't think that's fair. I know it won't affect my friend anymore but I wanna think maybe it might, call it denial or madness or just a reason to write, I'm writing and I'll continue till I can.

I even know, this person my friend will maybe never come to my blog again but I wish him a very happy life ahead and I hope his dreams are fulfilled. And that wherever he is at the moment and will be tomorrow may my prayers and my good wishes reach him.

One more thing, before I end I didn't know this was gonna be my 100th post and so I'll post the shayri I had originally intended to post, it is a sad one but nowhere related to this post..just a random poem in urdu, sad but I'm just unable to pen something happy happy at the moment.

Naa jaana meine ye kya hua?
Naa jaanu mei ye kaise hua?
ek pal tha tu...
aur dusre pal hua juda..
dil mera toda tune..
aur ashk meine palkon pe sajae..
saath hai na tu mere..
phir bhi yeh dil sirf tujhe hi kyu chahe ?

I do not want to end on a sad note but I really do not think I can end on a happy note, apart from the fact that it's Diwali and I wish all my readers a Safe and a Happy Diwali :)

-Fatima